Before the first date: Meeting someone in Zurich
Before you go on a first date, you need to meet someone who might be interested in you. I strongly recommend you sign-up to a couple of internet dating sites. It’s estimated that 20-30% of relationships now start online! Its free to sign-up and look around to see if its interesting for you. For Zurich you should try:
Parship: In my opinion, Parship is the best online dating site for Zurich Dwellers. The reason I like Parship is that you do a Personality test, which is used to assess your compatibility with the enormous amount of members they have. Sign up and basic membership is free so there is nothing to lose. If you like the free account, consider upgrading to a full membership!
You can also try the traditional method of chatting to people at the pub, a club, the supermarket, or wherever else you’re likely to run into a potential partner. This can take some courage and confidence initially, but the more you practice, the better you get…
Ok, so now you’ve met someone!! Whether you met the person at online, at a club, or somewhere else, there is only so far text messages, calls, email and online can take a relationship. You’ll need to do something face to face with the person, to see if there is chemistry and physical attraction, if you want to start any sort of meaningful relationship.
If you’re looking for something casual, then you’ll definitely want to meet the person before you invest to much effort into things!
Plan two first dates, not one
Murphy’s Law (everything that can go wrong, will go wrong), tends to come into play when dating. For a first date, you want to plan to do something interesting for both of you (I can’t stress for the both of you part enough). Things that you find exciting and amazing might bore other people senseless.
Think about the person you’re meeting, and use what you know about them to plan two dates (at least), that you think will be fun for both of you. Why two dates? In case something goes wrong, cars breakdown, weather turns bad, the restaurant you’re going to might be closed, the movie you’re going to might be terrible enough to walk out of, etc. You get the point.
The second date is just insurance, in case something happens that merits a shift in venue. Plus, if the first date goes well, and you get asked about what you’re planning for a second, you’ll have something to say. It won’t go to waste.
Plan a Short First Date
No matter how well you think you’ll get along, you might be wrong. Why be stuck on an all-day hell-date with someone if you already know you don’t like them after an hour? Try keeping your first date to no more than one or two hours. Then, if things are looking good, you can suggest an extension (have something in mind going in).
It doesn’t have to be expensive, fancy or over the top. But make it something they’ll remember. Sunsets, views from up high or long walks are free and a great start. Do something that isn’t everyday or run of the mill, but not entirely off the wall (see below). The zoo, or a water park? A picnic by a nice lake? The world is your oyster.
Think of it this way. If things work our and you’re telling the story of your first date, 20 years from now, make sure it’s at least a decent tale!
Tell the Other Person What the Date Is
Surprises can be awesome. Spontaneity is a great thing to have. However, on a first date, it will be unpleasant and off-putting 90% of the time, no matter what romantic-comedy movies tell you. Don’t make the first date a surprise date. Let them know if you’ll be going to dinner and a movie. Tell them if you’re taking them to the opera. Make them aware you’ll be going to the zoo or an amusement park. This serves two purposes. It will let the person think and prepare for the date. It will also give them time to let you know in a friendly way, if they think your date idea is crap. Or to do some research on it, if they don’t know much about it in order to prepare.
A first date can be an anxious time. Doubly so if you’ve met online and have never seen the person yet! You worry when the other person does not show up on time. And to make it worse, you won’t know whether they’ve stood you up or are just running late. Make a point of being there on time (or even a few minutes early)!
Do You Need to Agree On What To Wear?
If you plan to take your date somewhere fancy, let them know! Likewise if you plan to take them outside, or somewhere they might need special clothes, tell them. This ensures that no one shows up inappropriately dressed for the occasion and feels awkward. Even if your date won’t need to wear anything special, let them know! This will save them from wondering.
If you’ve never met each other in person before, then tell them about one piece of unusual clothing that will make you stick out a little bit in a crowd. It sucks to have to ask several people if they’re your date and will definitely lead to a bad start. If you’re really unlucky, the potential love of your life will introduce themselves to the wrong person, fall madly in love with them and you’ll be left out in the cold.
Offer Some Compliments, but Don’t Go Overboard!
You need to walk a fine line here. You should compliment the person on some things that strike you as interesting. Try and keep away from physical. Stick to things about their personality that you find appealing. Be careful though; too much flattery will make you sound desperate. Is that the first impression you’re looking for? A good rule of thumb is to keep the first date compliments to things you’d be OK with, if your mom overheard them.
Don’t Drink Too Much
A little bit of alcohol can be good for social lubrication. Make sure you know your date isn’t religiously against alcohol, a recovering alcoholic, or just doesn’t like to drink for whatever reason, before you order a drink.
Too much alcohol can cause terrible embarrassment, and be a social disaster on a first date. I’ve heard (an experienced) cringe-worthy stories about people who have drank too much on the first date and ruined something that could have been beautiful, before it even got started.
Have you ever been out with someone who talked non-stop? What about a person who had nothing to say? Either situation can spell a first date disaster. If you’re not a chatty person, prepare yourself with some conversation starters (you can google these beforehand). If you’re a talker, just make sure that you aren’t the only one talking! And put away your phone; text’s, call’s, and funny videos of kittens can all wait till later…
Do you want to meet someone with food in their teeth, bad breath, body odor, or wearing dirty clothes? The person you’re going out with probably doesn’t want you to have these things either. Go above and beyond to tidy yourself up. Bring along chewing gum, pluck your nose and ear hair, and ask a neutral party to tell you what needs fixing. Have someone tell you what you look like in the clothes you’re planning to wear, especially if you have no fashion sense (like me). Don’t wear clothes that are too revealing, and pay attention to details. Shine the shoes, break out the iron, shave (face or legs/pits) and make sure you look, and smell great!
Good luck on your first date in Zurich!!