Times have changed for the single women in the past 50 years, and it can be confusing and frustrating. The modern, single, straight women, regardless of age, needs to understand and feel comfortable with themselves, have a least a basic understanding of men and be willing to put themselves out there, in order to meet someone.
There are a thousand sources of dating advice out there, but to be honest, what women want out of a relationship differs from woman to woman. Moreover, it changes within the same person, depending on her age and experience, as well as her life history. Every woman needs to make their own choices and decision when it comes to dating and relationships, but we’ve included some simple tips that might help you land the right man for you.
Take control of your dating life and put yourself out there!
No matter how hard you wish, there is little to no chance that a hot, smart, sensitive, single man with a good career and whatever else you want is going to knock on your door and sweep you off your feet, unless you put in some work! You need to put some kind of effort into putting yourself out there. Whether you decide to go out more frequently, try to attend events with a higher proportion of single, attractive men, or take advantage of the enormous popularity of online dating these days, you can’t expect to find happiness without looking for it!
It probably won’t happen all at once.
Don’t expect to meet the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with the first week you start looking; these things take time! To find the right person, your best bet lies in meeting lots of people and getting to know them. Chances are you will meet many, many men that are not right for you. Don’t be disappointed when this happens. This is not you failing. This is a weeding process and each man you find who is not the right one, brings you one step closer to the man of your dreams. Expect to make mistakes, have false starts and to occasionally to use poor judgement. Don’t be too upset or discouraged when these things happen. Learn from your mistakes, change your tactics and roll with the punches. Above all, don’t give up!!
What you might want in a partner when you are in your teens, is probably different than what you want in your 20’s, 30’s 40’s or 50’s. If you don’t think about what you’re looking for, you may not see it when its in front of you. Do you really want the moody, bad-boy you liked when you were in high school? Even if you’re physically attracted to this type of man, is this what you need at this stage in your life? Is there any possibility of a future? Are you looking for something permanent or just a bit of fun while you consider what you want in the longer term?
Do the best with what you’ve got
Many women are not 100% happy with their appearance. No one is perfect and most men don’t expect their partners to look like models or movie stars. In fact, men have a surprising degree of variety in what physical attributes they find attractive. While you might not be perfect in appearance, you know that you have certain parts of you that are amazing. It could be your eyes, your lips or your hair. It might be your legs, your breasts or even your feet. Try to accentuate your best features.
In addition, do some basic maintenance and try to improve the things you’re not satisfied. Hit the gym and get some exercise a few times a week. Shower on a daily basis, practice good personal hygiene. Consider playing the numbers here; there are men who like hairy legs, but there are a great may more who prefer shaved. Find a couple of friends who are critical, and will tell you if your outfit isn’t fetching or if you’re wearing too much perfume. It’s great to have friends who are supportive, but sometimes you need people to tell you the hard truth…
Make the first move
It’s not always easy, but if you want to find the right guy, you should consider making the first move. You don’t have to sprint across the room and jump on him, but if nothing else, provide him with an opening by putting yourself somewhere near him. If you’re feeling brave, why not make an innocent opening remark. It doesn’t have to be anything witty or over the top. ‘Can you please pass me a napkin (or any other nearby item)’ or ‘what does it take to get a drink/sandwich/help with something around here’. If he’s interested, single and at all confident, he’ll seize this kind of opportunity. If not, at least you tried!!
If you’re feeling extra bold and don’t mind being a bit obvious, just walk up and say hello. Introduce yourself, talk a bit, then tell him it was nice to meet him and go back to your chair. The next move will be up to him, if he’s interested.
When you’re meeting people, you might be tempted to change your personality or misrepresent yourself, to keep the interest of people you’re meeting. Don’t do this. You should always be who you are, otherwise you’re dooming any possibility of a relationship before it starts. Don’t compromise your beliefs, your goals, or yourself at all in an attempt to find the right man. The right person, will fall for the real you.
Be patient, be yourself, and you’ll find him eventually. In the meantime, play safe and enjoy the ride!!